love kills
by DemyDemDem
Summary: Zexion hides his feelings from Demyx.


**Title: Untitled (Originally titled "..:: Love^Kills ::..")**

**Pairing: Zemyx (High school Zemyx)**

**Rated: Pg-13**

**First Person - Zexion**

**Written: 2008.09.28 - 2008.10.01**

**Typed: 2009.09.18-19**

* * *

**I walked past his house and turned around to stand in front of it. I moved the hair covering the right side of my face so I could see his house clearly. I knew his bedroom by the splash of blue seen through the window. I sighed deeply as I held my text books close to my chest.**

**There he was. He was slowly unbuttoning his school shirt and pulled off his blue, plaid tie. He stretched his arms and looked out the window. He saw me.**

**He opened the window, stuck his head out and waved at me. His dirty blonde hair blew in the wind. His hair was unusually styled, be he pulled it off.**

"**Zexion!!" he yelled to me smiling.**

"**Hi, Demyx!" I yelled back, so as to not ignore him.**

**Demyx leaned over onto his arms and smiled again. **

"**What's up? What're you doing here?"**

"**Oh, nothing. I was just going home."**

"**Wanna come up?"**

"**Huh?"**

"**C'mon! Mom would love to see you again!"**

"**Sorry, Demyx, but I really should get going…"**

**Demyx pouted.**

"**Hold on one moment."**

**He went back into the room and shut the window. He started to throw clothes around his room.**

**I couldn't wait. I started walking down the white sidewalks, lined with lush, green grass. I looked at the flowers along the way. I lived three houses down from him. I live in the 6th**** house on the block.**

"**Zexion!" yelled the young blonde of 17.**

**I turned around to see Demyx running behind me to catch up. I'm rather slow.**

"**What're you doing?" I asked the slender teen who was about 8 inches taller than me.**

"**Going to your house." he said with a grin.**

"**I see that. But why?"**

"**Cos I'm bored." he said putting his arms behind his head.**

**We stood in front of my house as I tried to get my keys out of my school bag.**

"**Here, lemme hold your books." he offered. I politely declined, but he took them anyway. "Damn, Zexy!" he yelled. I put my finger to my mouth signaling him to hush.**

"**My dad's home! Besides, didn't I tell you not to call me by that insidious name?"**

"**Sorry, but God! Why do you carry all these text books?"**

"**I told you, I didn't want you to carry them…"**

"**It's not that… AP Calculus? AP Psychology? AP European History? And AP English? You're like, a frickin' genius!"**

"**No, I'm just taking college prep classes."**

"**But you understand it, right?"**

"**Yeah. I have to."**

"**Then you're a genius!"**

**I sighed. He fails to understand. I opened the door and walked in.**

"**Dad? I'm home. Demyx tagged along too."**

**My dad liked Demyx. Demyx was a good friend. He was dependable, into sports, and a good influence. I guess he feels that if I hang around Demyx , I'll lighten up some and stop always having a book in my face. Not that my dad has a problem with my academic studies, but he wants me to get out more.**

**I walked up the stairs and Demyx followed. My door was slightly ajar.**

"**Come in. Just set those books on my desk next to the computer."**

"**Gosh, Zexy. This isn't a bedroom, it's a library!"**

**I smiled. I liked it when he said stupid things. **

**My room is white with a beige carpet. When my mom was alive, she used to buy me purple furniture. I only keep it as a memento. She used to buy me purple because it went nicely with my slate-colored hair. It really is a pain in the arse sometimes.**

**My bedroom walls were covered with shelves. Shelves upon shelves of books. It really **_**was**_** like a library. Demyx would always stare at my shelves, eyeing the titles of my books, astonished by the mere title alone. I liked my psychology class . I like to get into your head and then mess with your mind. Most of my books were, in fact, psyche books.**

**Demyx plopped onto my bed and spread out.**

"**Where do you find the time to read all of these books?"**

"**I've had them for years, Demyx. I mostly read after school, or during lunch at school."**

"**Wow… I couldn't focus on something that long." he said with a sigh.**

**I sat down in my computer chair and looked out the window. I turned around to find Demyx staring at me.**

"**What? Something on my face?"**

"**No. Just thinking."**

"**About what, may I ask?"**

"**Nothing. Don't pay me any attention."**

"**Well, that's kind of hard when you're staring at me."**

"**Oh. Heh. Sorry."**

**Several hours had passed as I showed Demyx some of my many books and explained them to him. Demyx always seems to be interested when I teach him stuff. Now if only I could get him to pay this much attention in class.**

"**Zexion!" my dad called. "Dinner!"**

**I faced Demyx. "Are you staying for dinner?"**

**He nodded. "Sure."**

**

* * *

**

**I stood at the front door as Demyx waved goodbye and began to make his way home. He ran down the sidewalk and into his house. I closed the door slowly and went back to my room. I laid onto my bed and pulled my cell phone out from my pocket. I opened it and went directly to my pictures.**

**If only he knew.**

_**Demyx… if only you knew.**_

**I opened up a picture of him. He's so beautiful. His skin is so smooth and pale. His eyes- his sea-green eyes shimmer with just the littlest of light. His dirty-blonde hair is styled in a mullet that he gels straight up. He has such a sweet disposition. He's always happy and smiles at everyone. He's everything that anyone could ever want.**

**He's everything **_**I**_** want.**

_**How long can I keep up this façade? He'll never return my feelings. How long am I to pretend and hold back my feelings? How long will I live a lie? How long will I continue to lie to everyone? How long will I lie to **__**myself**__**?**_

_**I can't be something I'm not. What if he finds out? Will he even talk to me anymore? What about if my dad finds out? What can I do? What should I do? It's killing me inside.**_

**I closed my cell and stared at it's blue shell. I ran my fingers across it and felt the smoothness of it all. Setting it down on my chest, I clasped my hands over it in an attempt to fall asleep.**

**A few minutes later, my cell began to vibrate. I flipped open my cell to see that I had received a text message from Demyx. **

**[Hey. Wut r u doin? Can I come over?]**

**My eyes widened. Why does he want to come over?**

**[Why? Weren't you just over my house?] I replied using **_**proper**_** English.**

**[Yeah. Plz?]**

**[*sigh* okay. Come through the window.]**

**[K.]**

**My heart began to race.**

_**What does he want? It is 11:44 pm on a school night. Demyx… what do you want? You're torturing me. You're slowly murdering me and you don't even know it. Why do you play with my feelings? Why do you do this to me?**_

_**You're killing me with love.**_

**I heard rocks being thrown at my window. I walked over to my window and sighed as I opened it quietly.**

"**How do I come up?" Demyx whispered loudly.**

**I stuck my head out the window and pointed towards the garage in the back. There was a ladder leaning up against the side of it. He looked and nodded. Demyx retrieved the ladder and placed it up against the side of the house leading up to my window. He came up quietly and quickly.**

**It was nighttime, therefore it was cold. I offered him to sit on my bed and pull the covers over his shivering body and he kindly accepted. I sat in my computer chair as usual.**

"**What's wrong, Demyx?" I asked him. This was normal. Demyx looked upset.**

**There was a silence. He did not answer me. He only held his knees close to his chest, his face resting upon them looking to his left.**

_**Why Demyx? What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me? Why won't you look at me? You're hurting me, Demyx. It's killing me…**_

**I went over to the bed and sat down next to Demyx. I put my arm around him in an attempt to comfort him, but he brushed my arm away. He wouldn't look at me.**

"**Demyx. What's **_**wrong**_**?!" I simply stared at him.**

**He slowly turned to face me at last. His beautiful face that never had anything less than an undisciplined grin was red and on the brink of tears. This wasn't the face that I've grown to know and love.**

_**It hurts. Seeing you like this hurts me so much. You're hurting me. Demyx. Why do you do this to me? It aches so much. Smile. Please. Smile. Tell me what's wrong.**_

"**I've been thinking a lot lately, Zexy." he began with a melancholy voice. "Why don't you talk to me like you used to?" he asked.**

"**What? I have--"**

"**Don't lie to me." he cut me off. "ever since you've been excelling in school. You just seem to go higher and higher and leave me behind. What? You don't have time for someone like me anymore? And then when we're together, you distance yourself from me! We're supposed to be best friends! I've known you since kindergarten! It's like… Like you're **_**pretending to be my friend!**_"

**My jaw dropped. I was in shock.**

**_No…!! you're… you're wrong Demyx! That's not it al all! Not even close!!_**

**_Why can't I tell you how I feel? Why won't the words come out? I… I… _**

**"Cat got your tongue, Zexy? Because it sure sounds like it! Why, Zexion?! Huh? Can't you at least _try_ to be my friend?!" Demyx continued to yell.**

**I could no longer take it. I leaped over Demyx, pinning him down to the bed by his wrists. He stared up at me, eyes open in shock or maybe even fear.**

**"You…" I began with a tremble in my voice, "You don't even know!! You don't know ANYTHING!"**

**_What am I doing?_**

**I've NEVER pretended! Not once in my life! I've always been your friend, you jerk! I've never been anything less! But no, your big ass head can't even see!!"**

**_What am I saying?!_**

**I balled my hand into a fist and lightly pounded on the other boy's chest.**

**"You don't even know…. You don't even _FUCKING KNOW!_"**

**_What the __fuck__ is happening?!_**

**A drop of liquid fell onto Demyx's cheek. Was I… crying?**

**"Well, I'd know if you'd just _talk_ to me! You never talk to me! It's like 'Hi' and 'Bye' with you!"**

**"But Demyx, it's not that easy! Okay?! I'm not like you! I'm not! I'm not outgoing and happy-go-lucky! _You're_ always happy! _You're_ friends with everyone! _I'm_ the one who's just here! _You're_ the one keeps moving forward, not me!!"**

**I released Demyx's arms and sat up, wiping the tears from my face. I felt his arms clasp around me and pull me down. I was leaning over him.**

**My heart began to race even faster.**

**_Oh, my God. What is going on right now?_**

**"Why couldn't you tell me before?" Demyx asked softly.**

**"I… I don't know… I just… couldn't…"**

**"Zexy?"**

**I looked at him.**

**"Do you… love me?"**

**I froze for a minute and then burst into a fit of tears. I laid down into his arms.**

**"Yes! So very much! I have always loved you!"**

**Demyx ran his fingers past my face and moved the hair covering my face. He leaned up slowly and our lips met. He pulled away and stared me in the eyes.**

**My face was even redder than it already was.**

**"I love you, too."**

**_What?_**

**"What did you… say?"**

**"I said: I love you."**

**_Is this… real?_**

**"Demyx, but what if someone finds out?"**

**"Zexy, tell me: what's wrong with two people loving each other?"**

**"Nothing… But… we're both guys…"**

**"So what? The world _will_ find out one day and they'll just have to accept it. Because we'll be waiting and no one can change a thing."**

**The End**

* * *

**BTW, Zexion's dad works night shift, so he's not home to hear all this blabber between them.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed this little story. Sorry it sort of drags on, but I wrote it in English class during my Junior year. I was 16 and new to writing fan fics. Please forgive me! ^^;**


End file.
